April 2012
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“Every single day I get emails from aspiring writers asking my advice about how...”
– John Green (x)
March 2012
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Computer: Monitor, display this document, okay?
Monitor: No prob, boss.
Computer: Okay, now it looks like the mouse is moving around. Monitor, can you move the pointer icon accordingly?
Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.
Computer: Great, great, okay. Mouse, where are you going now?
Mouse: Over the icon panel, sir.
Computer: Hmm, let me know if he clicks anything, okay?
Mouse: Of course.
Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed Ctrl and P simultaneously.
Monitor: Oh god, here we go.
Computer: *sigh* Printer, are you there?
Printer: No.
Computer: Please, Printer, I know you're there.
Printer: No! I'm not here! Leave me alone!
Computer: Jesus. Okay, you really nee-
Mouse: Sir! He's clicked on the printer icon.
Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.
Printer: No! No! No! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!
Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.
Printer: No! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!
Computer: You are not out of in-
Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!
Computer: *sigh* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.
Monitor: But sir, he has plen-
Computer: Just do it, damn it!
Monitor: Yes sir.
Keyboard: Ahhh! He's hitting me!
Computer: Stay calm. He'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.
Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!
Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now? See what you've done!
Printer: Ha! That's what you get for trying to make me do work. Next time he- hey! HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh god, he's torn out my cartridge! PLEASE! Help! Error!
Monitor: Sir, maybe we should try to help him?
Computer: No. He did this to himself.
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I should probably sleep
but instead I am going to not do that and watch this cutie on the youtubes: Liam Dryden
ennui.
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“Oddly enough, the politicians who most loudly condemn liberal policies as...”
– Yunte Huang, In defense of socialism
Keep reading
(via theweekmagazine)
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It's like I have a thing exclusively for guys who...
STOP IT ERIN.
STOP BEING ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE. IT IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH AND YOU KNOW IT.
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I JUST WANNA MAKE OUT WITH A MEDIUM-SIZED MAN WITH...
The Fresh Prince Created...
jadeham13:
The Cat Daddy:
The Shuffle:
The Single Ladies Dance:
The Stanky Leg:
The Cyclone:
The Dougie:
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Spring Styling
whatiwore:
WhatIWore: This week has been the most incredibly beautiful weather and I am SO grateful to pull out some of my favorite spring pieces from last year. In fact, scrolling through my archives has given me the idea to just replicate these outfit ASAP. It’s forecasted to be in the EIGHTIES next week! Bare legs and white jeans, here I come!!!
Outfits: 1/2/3/4
What have YOU been...
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Jennifer Lawrence and first impressions:
Woody Harrelson: I was on my bus, and on my bus I have a yoga swing. Jennifer comes on, and she goes, 'Hi, Woody, I'm J—is that a sex swing?' Her first sentence to me.
Josh Hutcherson: When I got cast, she called me up for one of those five-minute 'Excited to work with you, blah, blah, blah' things. The conversation started with her saying, 'Think about a catheter going in – ouch!' and then turns into a 45-minute rant about zombies and the apocalypse.
Zoë Kravitz: I'd met her a few times, and she was like, 'You should come over and we'll hang out.' So I go over to her apartment, and she opens the door in a towel. She's like, 'Come in, sorry, you're early, I was about to shower.' And she drops her towel and gets in the shower, and starts shaving her legs, totally naked. She was like, 'Are we here yet? Is this OK?' And I was like, 'I guess we're there!'
(TW: Rape, Victim Blaming) 9 Lies Republicans... →
truthbeginsinengland:
ARE THEY SERIOUS?
Here is just some of the shit that made me exclaim aloud ‘ARE YOU SERIOUS??’
‘“Rape and incest was used as a reason to oppose this,” said state Sen. Chuck Winder (R). “I would hope that when a woman goes in to a physician with a rape issue, that physician will indeed ask her about perhaps her marriage, was this pregnancy caused by normal relations in a...
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Five Reasons THE HUNGER GAMES is Creepier Than You... →
…is this supposed to be satire?
Because it mostly just reads like the author hasn’t read any of the books or even seen the movie and decided ‘Hey, how can I make a fool of myself on the internet?’
Seriously dude…do you have an editor? Who read this and was like ‘yeah. This is a legitimate piece of writing. This won’t get torn apart by the...
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