meggannn: fourtris-divergent: One day your child will bring home a friend and introduce them and they’ll have the name of a fictional character and you silently whisper “I can’t believe their parents were in ‘that’ fandom!” #i don’t care how cute he is you can’t hang out with cullen anymore
chipotleismypatronus: The three MOST honest minutes in television history. EVER. I think I just crapped my pants. Brilliant. BRILLIANT.
I am so tired
I feel so bad that I couldn’t make it to Cati’s birthday, but my besy friend Kate is visiting and we have been so busy…we’re just exhausted. In other news rainbow hair is back.
You can be body-positive and still have preferences. You can be a feminist and still love men. You can be sex-positive without being interested in casual sex. People seem to forget that the core principle of all of these is as simple as not being an asshole.
Call Me Maybe starts playing on the radio
me: oh my god not again
me: I THREW A WISH IN THE WELL DON'T ASK ME I'LL NEVER TELL
What if your alarm clock was Tom Hiddleston's...
timelordy-teganbreann: circusdreamerr: i-have-been-johnlocked: Dear heart, I know you’re tired, but please, you must wake up. Don’t want to be late for class, now do we? Snooze? Is that a good choice, love? Well, I suppose a few more minutes won’t hurt. Hello, love. Please please please can you wake up for me? You’ve pressed snooze two times already, and we all know third time’s the...
weaponxvii: I’m glad I’m not crazy excited over the Olympics. Otherwise, I’d be upset at all the overseas spoilers.
remember when you were little and time went soooo...
like, your mom was baking cookies and you asked her every 30 seconds when they would be done and she was like “in 30 minutes, sweetie.” and you were like “FUCK THAT IS SO LONG I AM NEVER GETTING COOKIIIIIIES.”
If you are even a small part of the BBC Sherlock...
jennstarkid: everything will be explained later
captaintortastic: my question is why did you even need to put batteries in furbies when they clearly operated on the fear they instilled in those around them
Why I Love My Mother
Politician at door: (blah blah blah)...and my strong commitment to traditional family values, as my wife of 28 years will attest.
Shade's mom: Sir, I don't care if you have orgies every Tuesday night so long as you get your job done.
Shade's mom: Also, if "traditional family values" is a sneaky way of saying "anti-gay marriage stance," you should know that my daughter is bisexual, and if I never get to cry at her wedding because some law you passed made her wedding illegal, I will personally see that your wife of 28 years has a lesbian awakening in time for you to discover the virtues of traditional divorce.
Politician: ...you have yourself a nice day, m'am.
John Green's tumblr: Solving a Problem →
fishingboatproceeds: edwardspoonhands: So every once in a while, someone (or a couple of someones) will get it into their heads that it’d be cool to come visit us in real life by tracking down our addresses and knocking on our doors, or leaving presents on our doorstep or in our mail box. As harmless as that no doubt is, it is for some reason unsettling. A home is a private place and it’s...
nasty-otter: If you think about it potatoes don’t really get all that much credit they’re fucking awesome this one thing here can be made into: different variations of fries regular, curly, waffle. It can be made into chips or ruffly you can make hashbrowns with it even a salad add some fuckin cheese to those potatoes you can have it sliced and diced or...
I have the worst cravings